A note to myself:
You are strong, you are capable and the fact that you love to try new things all the time is admirable.
Wanting to see others grow and letting their light shine is a GIFT. It doesn't mean you don't want MORE for yourself -- it means you LOVE watching people succeed. Keep that gift. Don't lose it. Don't get greedy. Keep loving and giving.
You getting really excited about ideas every week -- is also a gift. It's not a flaw - get it out of your head that it is BAD to desire to constantly want to create things.
Life just looks a little bit different than the vision boards you created in all those personal development sessions. Once upon a time you put on there a giant house with it's own wine cellar - with annual Hawaii vacations, 5 babies and an abundance of friends.
Instead -- you ended up being in a marriage that didn't serve you for 15+ years, with an empty wine cellar because you numbed emotions with your fave Malbec. Vacations that would be terrible and leave you crying for weeks. For some crazy wild reason -- you thought that was normal, that partners required you to beg for things, that your wants, desires needs & visions were so silly that you had to say 'yes' even when you knew the things you were saying yes to were not at all what your heart wanted.
Your vision board -- was a vision of LOVE, not the stuff, not the things, it was....the feelings you had when you saw a house and vacation full of love. Not the actual "things'. All of those vision boards you created....were reminding you that life is so much more than surface level things.
I'm proud of you, you left at the perfect time.
I mean it -- the perfect time. You may not have known it at the time -- but if you would've left earlier it may not have worked out as great as it has. Covid was a blessing for you --- you got to pack up the kids and leave at a time when the world didn't have to have all their eyes on you. Where nature, and living on the side of a mountain alone would give you 'space' to heal.
All the things that have happened FOR YOU....are putting you back on the path.
Maybe not on the top of the mountain quite yet, or ever -- because there's no TOP....there's always a view. But NOW --- you are back on A path. YOUR PATH.
The swings and the misses, the stalking, getting evicted, all the words that you knew deep down were not true: were happening FOR YOU -- to step into this tiny home lifestyle that would lead you to love even deeper.
You did it -- on your own...despite being told repeatedly you couldn't, wouldn't and there was no way in heck you'd be okay. You needed him, and for 15 years he told you that you would fail at life if you left.
You'd be worthless without him. So when you told him you wanted to move to the property into a tiny home - he told you...you were stupid. That it would never work, and you moved ....without running water, without electricity, without anything --- but the kids & dogs = and you did it. With a lot of kindness and unconditional support from your mom & closest friends.
How is my tiny home the biggest opportunity I've given myself?
As a mom, woman, or human being who was told not to eat the food in the fridge because it wasn't hers...the tiny home was and is my freedom.
It's part of my legacy.
It's something I can look at and say "I'm doing it". It's both a physical, spiritual and mental boundary.
Keep going.....walk the path, hike the harder trails with confidence, and never stop loving xo
The tiny gave me FREEDOM. It gives me freedom.
Freedom to choose. Freedom to spend less. Freedom to save the environment a little more, freedom to have my own space, even if it is small - it carries a lot of freedom.
--- Tiny home, I love you. Thank you for being a small (or big) piece of my story xo